ctrl+c, ctrl+v

I fall asleep each night, thinking things will get better. Maybe tomorrow won’t be so bad, I say. Maybe I’ll feel okay.

Just okay? Why not great?

Because no, not everything is fine. I’m suffering inside.

Or maybe it’s just a bad day.

Maybe you are overreacting, they say.

What is a bad day, if every day feels exactly the same?

But I wonder what it’s like to feel great.

Will I be kinder, a little less rough around the edges? Will I smile more and mean it? Will I feel less than the world’s weight crushing my shoulders?

But how can I feel great?

I’m a lonely girl, and insecure.

I drive people away with my lack of hope and rambling mind.

Who wants to be around someone like me?

Who would try to find a friend in me when I’m so hard to reach?

Why love a lost cause, when instead you could love a spirited one?

You’re great, they say. You should feel great.

I wish it were that easy; feeling some way on cue like I’m in a movie.

But it’s not and never will be.

I fall asleep each night, thinking things will get better.

But when I wake, it’s all the same.

Today’s just a copy of yesterday.

 

 

 

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One thought on “ctrl+c, ctrl+v

  1. It’s okay to feel exactly how you feel. It doesn’t matter how you “should” or “should not” feel. Your feelings are your feelings, and you’re allowed to feel them, without guilt or pressure. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way, but it’s okay that you are. ❤

    Like

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